Cowichan Valley Threshold Circle
Supporting the Sacred Transition of Death with Compassion and Community
" For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt in the sun?
And what is it to cease breathing but to free the breath from the restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered ? "- Kahlil Gibran
our offeringS
The Three Pillars
The Cowichan Valley Threshold Circle offers gentle support for families choosing to honour their loved ones through home wakes and meaningful death care practices. We believe that death, like birth, is a sacred transition deserving of reverence, intimacy, and community care.
Wake Box &
Support
Guidance and presence for home wakes after death.
Monthly
Threshold Circle
Community gatherings on the practical and spiritual aspectss of dying.
Community &
Resources
Practical contacts, reading, and education, legal discussions...
MY STORY
Everyone has a story ...
After experiencing the profound healing of a home wake for my son Logan, I felt called to help other families discover this sacred practice. What began as three women offering quiet support, has grown into a community dedicated to reclaiming death as a natural, sacred transition.
TESTIMONIALSIt has been, quite simply, one of the great honours of my life, to be with people in this way. Nothing short of sacred. I feel called to it, this particular journeying. I believe that bearing witness and holding space for death and dying is transformative, and necessary. We owe it to one another to take the process back, into our own hands, our own homes, our own communities.Kristi L.When my husband passed over the threshold our family had very little preparation time beforehand. The Threshold group and the involvement of their members for coaching before his death and calling on them shortly after his death was instrumental to our family's smoother adjustment to our new circumstances. I felt held and reassured by this community as they attended my husband and guided me through the process of the preparation of his body, the wake and his final resting place. Almost three years have passed and my heart is still full of gratitude for their vitally important activity.Ruth K
The Wake Box
The "Wake Box" contains all that is needed to proceed with this process. It contains detailed instructions and helpful contacts. The box has been used many times, and has proved to be complete and easy to use, even for those who have never done this before. The wake box is available to anyone who needs it
HOW WE CAN HELP YOU
Support Offerings
Wake Support
A wake is when your loved one’s body stays at home for up to 3 days. This allows family and friends to grieve naturally, share stories and memories, honour the sacred moment of passing, and say goodbye in a close and loving way. We provide practical help, guidance, and a wake box to support you throughout this process.
Vigil Support
We do not offer end-of-life care but can assist families in creating a warm and peaceful vigil environment as a loved one approaches death. All medical care remains the responsibility of the individual's health professionals.
The Wake Box
A curated box of instructions, checklists, and contacts for families wishing to facilitate a home wake, available with or without direct Threshold Circle support.
Monthly Threshold Circle
First Saturday each month. Open, inclusive circle exploring both practical (guest speakers, legal tips) and spiritual (discussion, Rudolf Steiner material) approaches to death, grief, and dying.
Advance Planning
We do not manage legal or funeral arrangements directly but provide direction and awareness of what families will need to organize. The intake form helps clarify what preparations are done and where support is required.
Resources & Information
Our resources offer practical contacts, reading materials, educational content, and guidance on legal discussions. These tools are designed to support you with information and help you navigate the journey with confidence and care.
About Us
We are a community-driven, inclusive group focused on offering practical and spiritual support through the wake process. We provide heartfelt care guided by compassion and respect. Your beliefs and ways in which you would like to see the wake process carried out will be supported as best as we can.We are not medical or legal professionals. We do not handle legal matters, executor responsibilities, or detailed advanced planning, but we offer guidance and connect you with the right contacts for these needs.
Respect for individual and family wishes; every wake or vigil is unique
Emphasize non-medical, community-centered, compassionate support.
Boundaries: *No medical, legal, or bereavement counseling advice provided.
My story
After experiencing the profound healing of a home wake for my son Logan, I felt called
to help other families discover this sacred practice. What began as three women offering
quiet support has grown into a community dedicated to reclaiming death as a natural,
sacred transition.My son was one week shy of his 9th birthday when he died. It doesn't matter how or why.
What mattered was that this was the turning point of my life, which led me to a path to
serve others. I didn't plan for a wake. It unfolded the day that Logan died. Like magical
godmothers out of a fairytale, three women showed up who changed everything.They were pillars of quiet strength, coming to the forefront when they were needed, and
drawing back when my family needed respite within ourselves. These women were the
inspiration for the founding of the Cowichan Valley Threshold Circle.We held a wake in my parent's home, while they graciously supported whatever it was that
we asked at that time. It was a time for our vast family to cry together, to laugh together
and to share it all. My son lay at the centre of this ebb and flow of activity and quiet.I watched visitors come through the threshold of my parents' home, shattered at the news
of our young child's death. They were held by this act, this sacred ritual, this sharing
of hearts. I watched them leave, changed, healed deeply in an indescribable way.I myself felt Logan so strongly. This was more real than any real I had ever known.
I thought, 'Other people need to know about this. Other people need to have this opportunity.'
That was the beginning of this work that I consider my call to help others. This is Logan's work.— Michelle Havixbeck, Founder
The Monthly Circle
A greater group comes together, the 1st Saturday of each month, to delve into both spiritual and practical matters around dying. All adults are welcome. There are a myriad of participants who bring a variety of gifts and beliefs into the circle.We practice empathic listening at each gathering so that we can show up with openness, and respond to those who are grieving and in trauma. Local trainers of Non-violent communication, here in the Cowichan Valley, coach us along. We have also have had guest speakers who work locally in palliative care and have spoken about ‘Dignity Therapy’ and ‘What Does Dying look like?’Much of our spiritual study centres around the work of Rudolf Steiner who had great insights into the workings
of life and death.
Resources
FAQs
- Do I need to make funeral arrangements first?
Yes, pre-arrangement is ideal. This reduces stress and cost for families at a difficult time.- What if a death occurs in hot weather?
Dry ice can be purchased from Simply Pure Ice and Water in Victoria (Douglas location)- How soon must I contact you after a death?
As soon as possible (ideally within 2 hours, before rigor mortis sets in).- Can this work in any home/space?
The space must be accessible for visitors and for body removal; the Circle can advise or help find a location if needed.- Do you work with my funeral home, doctor, or clergy?
Only with professionals or spiritual leaders you or your family choose.
Helpful Contacts
- Dry ice providers - Simply Pure Ice and Water; 2340 Douglas St. , Victoria, 250-920-4002 (ext.1)
- Licensed Green Burial - Salt Spring Island Natural Cemetery; 250-653-9884, [email protected]
- Cremation in Langford- Affordable Cremation & Burial, 250-391-1540, [email protected]
Recommended Reading/Viewing
Film - “In the Parlor: The Final Goodbye” Heidi Boucher
A film about the funeral industry and the option of wakes. 3 intimate experiences of creating a wake are shared.Film - "Cowichan Valley Threshold Circle: Preparing the Deceased"
Our own film produced by Jase Tanner,, showing the washing, anointing, dressing and honouring of the body.
https://spaces.hightail.com/receive/IXzqDbNTXu/amFzZS50YW5uZXJAaWNsb3VkLmNvbQ==Reading - "Travelling the World to Find the Good Death" Caitlyn Doughty
Legal Information
The Kitchen Table Death Prep Group comes together in Duncan the last Friday of each month. Legal aspects are the focus such as wills, representatives, advance directives, probate, and such preparations. Legal advice is not given but these aspects are explored as a group.
Contact Monica at [email protected]
Reach out
Get in Touch. Join our Monthly Circle. Request the Wake Box.
Email: [email protected]
Phone landline: (250)597-3359 Michelle
Cell phone (250)216-1304 Kristi